Back to School Stress Management

Summer days are over and we are back in the swing of things across the country. Schools have reopened, lunches are being prepared, homework is getting done (or not), and stress levels have gone up. I want to get into back-to-school stress management challenges and opportunities with you, in the hopes I can help!

There are lots of studies about good stress and bad stress and the different ways stress impacts your life — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Going back to school is one of the main concerns for grownups and kids alike. There's nervous energy, excitement, and always a little uncertainty about how the transition will work out.

The key factor in managing stress as we return to school is to be mindful and present with yourself and your children. Listen and pay attention to what they're saying.

I remember driving my son and his friends around in the car and staying completely silent. The act of just listening and being present gives you so much information. I learned about what they were interested in, teachers they were struggling with, and so much more — just by being a chauffeur and not saying a word.

You are the expert on yourself and your children. You know when they're off or when they're hungry.

Being present to help your kids with their homework is critical. Helping them learn time management and study skills are lifelong lessons they need to grasp.

The transition from fifth to sixth grade is a significant change. Most often kids are moving from having one teacher all day to getting a locker for the first time and moving from class to class. This is when I notice the most significant amount of initial stress on a sixth grader. They don't yet have the ability to predict how long it will take to complete a vocabulary assignment, a math worksheet, and a reading response all due the next day.

Most schools use an online program where you can check grades and assignments. Spend each evening before or after dinner looking at it together, determining what assignments your child has and when they're due, and helping them get organized.

This doesn't mean sitting next to them and helping fill out every question. It means pulling up their assignments, helping them organize what they'll do and in what order, and being available for support — but not doing the work for them.

Structure and routines are critical for children of all ages. Consistency creates a state of calm and relaxation. Coming home from school and knowing exactly how your day is going to go allows a child to relax and settle into what they know and can expect without any surprises.

Children who have erratic schedules often appear anxious or on edge because they never know what's going to happen next. The child who knows that when they come home from school they'll get a snack and start homework can mentally prepare for that on the ride home. It sets their tone for the rest of the day.

For younger children, writing out a schedule or having them create a cute calendar of their daily activities can be very helpful. Add a space for stickers or stamps whenever they accomplish a task — it makes even spelling homework fun.

Setting healthy boundaries around screen time is critical. Something as innocent as 5 minutes on TikTok can turn into 2 hours when you fall down that rabbit hole.

Some families don't allow phones at the dinner table. Others don't allow devices in bedrooms overnight. If your child has had trust issues around devices in the past, keeping devices out of their room at night is a good idea — it also prevents late-night group chat pinging from disrupting their sleep.

Everybody has a busy day. Your children need downtime just as much as you do. Discuss which days they have extracurricular activities and which days they can plan nothing — just chill.

Honor that downtime. Don't schedule around it. Let everyone look forward to some peace and quiet. (Unless downtime means Mario Kart on the Switch with your kids — in which case it's not quiet, but it sure is fun.)

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do is maintain open communication among your family members. A shared family calendar where everyone's activities are written down — maybe in different colors per person — helps everyone stay on the same page about transportation, timing, meals, and evening routines.

Things fall apart when nobody knows what's going on with each other.

Once you get a healthy routine going and everyone understands their responsibilities, you'll find that the amount of peace and quiet in your home is worth all the effort.

Need support navigating the school year? Reach out to schedule a session — I'd love to help.