Parental Controls That Stick

I'm not talking about taking the door off the frame in your kid's room and forcing them to be compliant. I'm talking about digital parental controls. In this day and age we have to be aware of where our children are going online. Scams, spam, predators, and other scary things lurk in the cyber world — and we have to help our children stay safe.

Here are practical, step-by-step ways to do this across the devices your family uses most.

Recently I heard a few 7th grade students talking about a show on Netflix. One student was describing in great detail the show Ginny & Georgia — which has themes including parent and child drug use, underage drinking, and sexual content. As children talk to each other about the shows they watch, they will naturally go home and want to check these things out. If you don't have controls set, your child can watch shows like that — or even shows about serial killers — without you knowing.

Once it is seen, it cannot be unseen. Do yourself and your children a favor and keep control over what they intentionally and unintentionally watch at home.

Step 1: Create individual profiles for each child

• Log on to your Netflix account
• Go to your Manage Profiles page
• Click Add Profile
• Optionally select Kids or Teens (you can change default settings later)
• Click Continue

Step 2: Manage individual profile settings

• Log on to your Netflix account
• Choose your own profile
• Hover over the icon in the upper right corner to reveal the dropdown menu
• Select Account
• Scroll down and expand the account you'd like to manage
• Click Change for each section you'd like to update

What you can manage:

• Viewing Restrictions — set maturity ratings from TV-Y (all children) to NC-17. Teen profiles default to TV-14; kid profiles default to TV-PG/PG.
• Profile Lock — lock each profile with a PIN so your child cannot change settings without your permission. Especially helpful if you have multiple children with different permissions.
• Playback Settings — control autoplay of next episodes
• Viewing Activity — see what your child has watched

Netflix also has a Kids Experience mode — a simplified interface that only shows TV shows and movies carefully selected for children.

My son was in 6th grade when he got his first phone. He was not allowed to download any apps without my permission. We did not allow any social media apps at that time. He needed to prove he could be responsible before we allowed that.

1. Go to the Settings app on your child's device
2. Scroll down and select Screen Time
3. Tap Continue
4. Select This is My Child's iPhone

Key features to set up:

• Downtime — decide when your child can or can't use their device (e.g., during sleep, at school). They'll receive a 5-minute warning before it activates.
• App Limits — set daily time limits for categories of apps (Social, Games, etc.). Resets at midnight each day.
• Communication Limits — control who your child can communicate with during Screen Time and Downtime.
• Content & Privacy Restrictions — the most thorough section. Manage permissions for iTunes & App Store purchases, allowed apps, content restrictions, location services, and more.

Pro tip: Use a Screen Time password so your child cannot change the settings without your permission.

If you'd like to manage your child's device from your own phone, use Family Sharing. Each child needs their own Apple ID (parents can create one for children under 13). Once set up, you can manage their Screen Time settings from your own device.

If you have a shared computer at home, set up separate logins for different family members with different controls for different ages. This should be done every time you get a new device.

1. Go to Settings > Accounts > Family & Other Users
2. Add your child's Microsoft account
3. Click Manage Family Settings Online to access the Microsoft Family website
4. From there, enable:
   • Activity Reporting — track what your child has been doing
   • App and Game Restrictions — control what they can install and play
   • Web Browsing Restrictions — filter inappropriate content
   • Screen Time Limits — set daily limits per device

All parental control settings are turned off by default, so you'll need to enable each feature individually. These monitoring solutions extend across all Windows 10 computers as well as Xbox One.

Setting up these controls might take you an afternoon, but it gives you peace of mind that your kids are somewhat safer online. It also helps your children understand that there are limitations based on age and maturity that are important to follow.

And here's a bonus: if a friend comes over and wants to watch something inappropriate, the restrictions keep them from doing so — and your child doesn't have to embarrass themselves by saying they're uncomfortable. They can just say, "My parents won't allow it."

I tell my kid to throw me under the bus all the time when it comes to things he doesn't want to do. It helps a lot.

Happy cyber surfing, everyone!

Questions about supporting your child's digital wellness? Reach out to schedule a session.